Chubby bastard Seth Rogan fights crime for kicks.
Muscles. Batman has them. Superman has them. A lot of superheroes or costumed vigilantes have them. If they have a sidekick, he’s usually pretty handy in a fight. Although, obviously, he can never be quite as good as his headlining, superhero buddy. Them’s the rules.
However, rules are made to be broken, and The Green Hornet takes a different approach. Step forward chubby bastard, Seth Rogan.
He plays Britt Reid, a loud mouthed, beer swilling, drug fuelled party monster, sluicing his life down the drain on his rich dad’s money. His dad, Tom Wilkinson (wheeling out his trusty, slightly odd, American accent for the umpteenth time), is a newspaper mogul intent on rooting out corruption, and naturally disapproves of his wastrel son.
But when the daddy bites the big one, his son has to take stock of his life. Will he do the sensible thing: wear a mask, tool himself up with a gadget laden car, and embroil himself in a highly dangerous criminal underworld with his high kicking sidekick?
Or will he… oh, hang on. That isn’t the sensible option. I’m not sure there is a sensible option when it comes to this type of movie.
Originally a radio show, The Green Hornet was probably made most famous by the 1960s TV programme, which showcased an early turn by the charismatic Bruce Lee as Kato.
Is it me, or is Jay Chou touching himself?
Kato, this time played by Jay Chou, is essentially The Green Hornet’s superior in almost every way. He invents and builds all the gadgets, and is an expert in martial arts. His Kato Vision — it kicks in when he finds himself in a tight spot — is one of the film’s highlights.
Seth Rogan basically just shouts for most of the movie, and acts the arse, whilst Jay Chou looks on with mild bemusement. It’s Chou’s cool as a cucumber persona that helps to draw attention away from Rogan’s more irritating moments.
Chou does lose it later on in the film in a somewhat cathartic smackdown. But there’s definite chemistry between the two actors, and it pretty much holds the movie together for its entire running time.
Everything else becomes a kind of sideshow. Cameron Diaz drifts in and out of the movie, and does hardly anything at all. She’s a romance getting in the way of the bromance. Whilst Christoph Waltz, as the film’s bad guy, is upstaged by his wacky, double barrelled handgun.
And the plot? Mmm. There isn’t much of one. It seems to be a rule of some sort for superhero movies. I’m pretty sure the rule is carved into an ancient tablet sat in a glass case, deep in the bowels of Hollywood, accessible only by numerous retinal scans, voice recognition programs, and rotating lifts that go sideways as well as up and down.
Movie directors must deviate from this rule at their peril it seems, lest they end up with their noggin splattered across the bedroom pillow, the victim of a Hollywood hitman.
In some ways, this film has similarities to Kick Ass, in that it deals with a hero out of his depth, fortunate enough to be backed up by someone of superior skill. That Matthew Vaughn creates an unusual, funny, and interesting film from this premise, and Gondry — the guy who brought us Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind — doesn’t, is one of The Green Hornet’s major disappointments.
However, it does have a roguish, ramshackle charm, and the action is plentiful and well shot for the most part. It’s just not a film that sticks in the memory for long. It’s enjoyable, disposable action fodder. But nothing more.
